Prescription 1 (Care and genuine interest in other people):
Welcome to worrisome to Awesome series
For the most of us, worry rules and worries our lives. And then, what is it that prevents us from being happy and makes us worry? We don’t intend to allow it into our lives, but it sneaks up on us like an unwelcome visitor. When we get incapacitated by worry, we begin to feel sorry for ourselves and believe that our worries are the only thing that matters.
The journey from worrisome to awesome want to you to be selfish.
You will start caring for your happiness from now on. Here is the first dose of prescription for the same.
Well, the prescription for today is to start caring about other people and to cultivate a genuine interest in them. Remember, the goal is to foster genuine concern for others rather than becoming interested in the latest rumours about other people’s lives.
Take a moment to reflect on whether there is anything I can do better when I worry about particular individuals, situations, or things. This is a story from Dale Carnegie’s book “How to stop worrying and start living”. It’s about Margaret Yales, an author and former US Navy officer’s wife who struggled with depression for a very long time and hardly left her bed. The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was what prompted her life to transform.
She says that “everything was chaos” and that she first lied down on the bed before beginning to answer her calls for the sake of the wives of navy officers. Then she sat down and got to work, and soon she was actively moving around and creating plans to ensure the safety and welfare of women and children. She was able to focus on others instead of herself because of the crisis. Inevitably, this helped her overcome her sadness because she was now focused on helping others rather than herself.
According to Dr. Alfred Adler, showing genuine interest in other people is one of the best methods to reduce worry.
Let’s look at the smallest things that annoy us. It might be a waiter taking his time to serve the meal in a restaurant, long lines at the barbershop for hair cuts, a newspaper delivery person running a little behind schedule, or a bus driver yelling at passengers to squeeze into an overcrowded bus.
Have we ever stopped to ask the waiters how it is for them to work in the always hot kitchen? Have we ever bothered to ask the bus driver how he manages to drive the vehicle all day in this heat and traffic? Have we bothered to be empathetic towards them and have we truly shown an interest in them? Most of our problems appear to be quite minor and manageable once we begin to actually care about people. Do you not agree?
Well let’s look at do we do that in day to day life?
CAN WE
· maintain eye contact with a person while having conversations, irrespective of their position in socio economic status (she/he might be a maid, labor or an officer, colleague)
· offer genuine praise when in due?
· provide genuine compliments?
· acknowledge people’s presence?
· pay attention to what they are saying?
· Importantly can we RESPECT a person for what he is. Remember every single person is important and has his role to play in the society.
The motivation behind caring about others is very personal. Once the mind is occupied with genuine interest and showing care for others, there will be less room for self-pity and worry.
See you soon with other dose of prescription soon!
